Foddly-Poddly-Diddly-Dee .2

Yuck! Mayonnaise and mustard on my egg salad sandwich? Mom! Why did she do that? I hate when mayonnaise and mustard are mixed up together. It looks fishy and smells stupid. Yuck, yuck, yuck! I wonder if anyone will trade with me. Wait, if I ask to trade my sandwich, then they may ask for my good stuff. I’m not gonna trade my sliced pineapples. Off limits for sure. Chocolate chip cookies. Ha!! Off limits as well. Apple juice has to stay with me because if I trade that then I will get thirsty. I could drink water but the water from the water fountain isn’t apple juice or doesn’t taste like apple juice. Plus, that water tastes salty. Why is the water from the water fountain salty and how come no else talks or says anything about the salty water fountain? Anyway, juice, you are staying. I need to hurry and start asking who will trade with me before every starts eating their food up. Let’s get to it. Not gonna ask Jonathan because he’s allllways mean when someone asks him to share his food. He’s mean all the time so why bother anyway?

Yes! Zihir has a Turkey and Cheese Sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes! That’s perfect! Yum! And he’s picking his nose. Still picking. Still picking. Still…I don’t even like Turkey and Cheese that much. How many boogers does he have in that nose!? Stop picking, Zihir! I feel so bad for his poor nose. Okay tum-tum, stop making noises. I’m working on it, hold on. Now, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich would be killer! Looks like Terra has one. Oh no, I hope she didn’t touch it yet when she unwrapped it; I didn’t get my cootie shots for the day and it would suck to be hungry and sick at the same time. Then I would have to sit out during recess and that’s no fair for me or my stomach. I rather not risk it.

Those tater-tots from the lunch line look good. Bethany and Marcus got food from the lunch line, so I could ask either one of them to trade. That’s also hoping Bethany didn’t touch her precious tots yet though! Yes! She hasn’t. Finally! And she said she’s not even really that hungry. Stomach, I think we have found our perfect match to trade with! I can’t stop smiling right now. Is she serious right now? She’s not gonna trade because her mom tells her not to trade her food with classmates. That’s so dumb! Your mom isn’t here! How would she even know? I just want to trade my sandwich away for something I would actually eat! Grrrrrrrr. Time to ask someone else who isn’t under those selfish rules, like Marcus I hope.

Please Marcus, please want to trade with me! Sweet, he doesn’t mind. My sandwich and apple juice for his tater-tots? But why is he including my apple juice when he already has one from the lunch line? BECAUSE ITS NOT OFF BRAND!? Is he serious right now!? I just wanna go sit down and eat man. Don’t make this difficult like Bethany. Okay. Now that’s a little fairer, my sandwich and a cookie for all of his taters. I can do that. Oh, and ketchup! Can’t forget that red, squishy goodness. Trade another cookie for you two ketchup packets!? Lunch is becoming my not so favorite period today. I just don’t wanna walk all the way over to the front of the lunch line just to get two ketchup packets when two ketchup packets are right here that he’s not using. He’s acting just like those greedy pirates from our summer reading book The Chest of No-beard Hook that take and take! Take the dumb cookie! Wait, no! My cookie! Finally, I can sit down and eat lunch. Stomach, your grumbling days are over. Uh-oh, why is Zihir heading towards me? Is that booger-picking finger really pointing at my sliced pineapples right now? I am NOT trading them for that booger brushed apple in his hand. What? It was traded with Terra for an orange!? Cooties and boogers wanna ruin my lunch. I didn’t ask for all of this! Zihir, I just want to eat before lunch is over. Thank you. Everyone’s eating and stuff and I can do the same. Yum, these are some good tater-tots!


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